I Must Be Dreaming Right?
by FatLittleChibi
Summary: Lydia Carlton, 4'5 midget, knows more curse words than any other 12-year-old, weird colored hair and eyes, and anime fan extrodinare! When she get's sucked into the world of anime she won't know what to expect. And she didn't get sucked into the anime she wanted to be in. Sebastian X OC X Ciel X Alois. LOTS OF SWEARING!
1. Creepy cosplayers?

**HELLOOOO FANFICTION READERS! How is everyone! I have fixed the spacing (Thanks to Paxloria for pointing this out) and have added more to the story! Yaaaaay! Sorry for making Lydia somewhat of a bitch in this story but I like making characters like that because most of my OTHER characters are kinda mary sue… so yea I hope you enjoy this story! Do not read if you hate swearing! Oh and some of the characters are going to be a bit OOC so please help me and let me know if you notice this… MAGICAL AUTHOR POWERS ACTIVATE! COMMENCE STORY! **

_**READ ME READ ME READ MEEEEEE! This story contains refrences to the anime Bleach! Please don't message me about it! Because I will ignore it! Thank you.**_

"But you already have so many Clara!" "But I don't have volume seven or eight!" Clara whined like a freakin' two year old "Your obsession with Kuroshitsuji is getting a little annoying. I'm starting to think you're only friends with me 'cuz I have an eye patch like that Ciel kid you where talking about." I huffed. We wandered the manga section of the local bookstore, looking for two different mangas. Clara looked in the girl's section for Kuroshitsuji manga and I looked in the boy's section for Bleach manga. I had to take a bunch of crap from this guy who thought I should go back to my 'girly manga' and that a 12 year old shouldn't be reading this anyways. I shut him up with a quick chop to the head though. Out of fucking nowhere Clara gave a girly squeal that made me want to strangle a puppy and ran around the bookshelf holding volume seven and eight in front of her and jumping up and down like a mad man. "IT WAS THE LAST ONE ON THE SHELF! I had to wrestle it from the hands of a fat chick but IIIIIII got it!" I held up my hands to protect my face from being whacked by the books in Clara's hands. "O.k. o.k. You got the last ones, cool your tits." "Wow, real nice choice of words Lyds." Clara deadpanned, dropping the books into her bag "What? You know that I have no mental filtering system. I just say what's on my mind!" It's so much fun to piss off your bestie! I grabbed three volumes of Bleach and walked towards the cashiers. That bitch was chewing me out for not buying 'real books' and that I have 'no appritiation for literature' and that if im going to buy manga buy some 'girl's manga' that's 'appropriate'. SCREW THAT OLD BITCHY FAGGOT DAMMNIT! We paid for our manga and headed to the park that was a block away. I already had my nose buried in my 'not real or girly manga' book. Clara poked me in the arm "Hey Lyds, we're gonna be late if you keep walking while you read." I waved my hand in a 'yea whatever' motion. "Hey look! An Ichigo Kurosaki cosplayer!" "Really! WHERE!" I whipped her head towards Clara as she laughed hysterically at my very retarded reaction. DAMN I fucking walked right into that one. Clara ran over to one of the picnic tables and sat down, waving me over.

I had finished my first 'boy's' manga and was now on the second. Clara's face swam in and out of view as I dozed off in the ridiculous midsummer heat. Clara noticed this and a mischievous smirk played across her face. She seized my manga from my bag and rubbed it against my cheek. Clara laughed as I jolted awake and slapped the book away like I slapped that one fat kid who tried to ask me out. I glared freakin' daggers at Clara "Um, Cal? Please stop trying to make Aizen book rape/smooch my arm, It's so gross." Clara shrugged "Sorry but you where helpless." I pointed at two approaching figures and whispered "Hey look, cosplayers." Clara looked over to where I was pointing and squealed so high I could have sworn my awesome new blackberry screen cracked. "Oh my god! It's Sebastian and Ciel! They look exactly like them!" they where walking in our direction and Clara was starting to hyperventilate like a retard. I got a bad feeling from being around them and was crouching into my track star running stance, fully prepared to run. But Clara put a hand on my shoulder and yanked me up to full height. Damn that girl has a tight grip!

The two 'cosplayers' stopped in front of us and whispered among them selves, we could only catch bits and pieces of their conversation like: "Are you sure that's her… Yes bocchan… No it can't be… yes…" Wait… What the fuck does 'bocchan' mean? It sounded freakin' Japanese. I tugged on Clara's sleeve and whispered in her ear "I've got a bad feeling about them. Let's get the hell outta here." We looked at the cosplayers and started whispering again, "Are you sure about that Lyds? They look pretty harmless." We looked at each other. The man in the black spoke first "Are you miss Lydia Carlton?" He asked, looking at me with his head slightly tilted to the right. I took a step back and pointed at him, "Stalkerguyinblacksuitknowsmy namesayWHAT? HOLY CRAP GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" Clara was panicking too. We ran from the two and Clara stopped to catch our breath about three blocks away, dammn, I guess that's why she only got a C in P.E. But i'm the star of the track team so i was fine. I wish she could run longer but let's not dwell on that shall we? We looked at each other and started walking normally. We scanned the streets, looking for the 'creepy cosplayers'. I was totally scared shitless to see the pair waiting for us a few feet away. We ran into a street that I hoped was going to fork so we could lose them but was instead a dead end, FUCK. We whirled around to look at the advancing pair. It seemed that they where walking slower than natural. My covered eye began to burn like hell as they got closer to us. Clara broke down and began to scream a string of curse words at the strangely dressed pair and I'll admit I wanted to do the same. I crouched into a defensive position I had learned from my MMA classes and was fully prepared to throw them over my fucking shoulder, grab Clara, and run like hell. They seemed to notice that I wouldn't go down so easily, like hell I would be a cliché mary sue like Orihime. I raced towards them and started to deliver a series of punches and kicks to both of them, particularly to the older one. My attacks got sharper and more aggressive the more times they dodged my blows. DAMMN! Why can't I land a freakin' hit! I wish I had mad ninja skills like Yoruichi, or at least be able to become a freakin' cat and run! I was suddenly struck by pain and fear as I crumpled to the ground, clutching my eye. Dammnit, I look so weak like this! I stood up shakily and raced forward them again. The older of the two seized my wrist in an iorn grip and covered my eyes with his other hand. The last two things that I heard before I blacked out where, "Hurry up Sebastian." And "Yes, my lord."

~*~*~*~*~X~*~*~*~*~

"Oh my god! I just got fucking kidnapped didn't I! Where the hell is Clara dammnit!" It's dark… a blindfold? And am I tied up or something? "OK Clara! You and Ashton Kutcher can come out of the fucking closet now, untie me, and scream 'YOU JUST GOT PUNKED' in my face! Hurry the hell up, I'm fucking hungry!" I waited and listened but instead of hearing Clara I just heard "Sebastian, she has such a dirty mouth for a 12 year old." "I must agree but we need her." At this point I just snapped and started screaming my head off "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU BASTARDS! LET ME OUTTA HERE GODDAMMNIT YOU ARE SO GOING TO GET IT! WHEN I FIGURE OUT HOW TO UNTIE THESE ROPES I WILL SUMMON A MILLON MUTANT SPORKS TO CLAW YOUR FUCKING FACES OFF DAMN IT! DON'T CARE HOW I WILL FIND A WAY TO KILL YOU! MY DAD IS A GODDAMN LAWYER AND HE WILL SUE YO FOR EVERY PENNY YOU GOT! I WILL KICK YOUR ASSES TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL, FUCK YOU!" If my hands weren't tied right now i would so flip them off! The blindfold started to slip and I shook it off. I saw the two creepy cosplayers from earlier, but I was starting to think they were not just creepy anymore… they where downright freaking me the fuck out! "Let. Me. Go. Right. Now. And. Send. Me. HOME." I growled through clenched teeth. "I'm afraid I cannot do that miss Carlton." The guy in the suit said to me, "Cut the crap man! At the very least untie me you bastards! And what's with this 'miss' crap?" "We cannot do that either _Miss Carlton._" I am suddenly very thankful that I keep a pocketknife in my boot and my sleeve. I slipped it out and started to cut the ropes. "Crap!" I whisper-yelled, I cut myself damnit! I'm such an idiot for thinking that I could do this like they do in the movies! But I wanna get out of here so I need to keep going and ignore the fucking pain in my fucking arm. "What should we do now Sebastian? As much as I hate to admit it we cannot simply keep her here. She may die of starvation. But we cannot let her go because she will try to fight us, particularly you." "You damn right I will!" The faggots looked at me again, "I will fight you and win and kill you and laugh while I use your dead bodies to feed my giant pet piranha!" I nearly jumped for fucking joy when those ropes came loose but I had to keep my cool and wait for the right time to strike. I'm gonna take 'em down in one fucking move! Just a little more… A liiiiiiiitle more to the left… Perfect. "GOTCHA! YOU COCKY BASTARD!" I aimed a kick at his head but missed… and put a two foot crater in the wall… I CAN DO THAT? AWESOME! I whirled around and gave him a pretty good blow to the head… and he looked like he didn't even feel it damnit! I need to keep my guard up! Me left his right side wide open so if I aim the kick right, "HERE!" hah! He felt that one I know he did! "YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS BETTER NOT UNDERESTIMATE ME DAMNIT!" one more kick should put him down on the fucking ground and then I can get outta here! I jumped up in the air and brought my foot down on his head, crap! He caught my foot! AHHHHH! "WHAT THE FUCK! LET ME GO YOU FUCKING BUTLER WANNABE! H-HEY PUT ME DOWN MY STUFF IS GONNA FALL OUT OF MY POCKETS!" oh crap… my trusty pocketknife fell out of my sleeve… "Haa, so that's how you cut the ropes. What strange items you carry… Miss Carlton." "PUT ME DOWN! OUCH! I SAID PUT ME DOWN NOT DROP ME ON MY HEAD!" the arrogant bastard smirked at me, "You did say to put you down so I did just that." I looked up at him and gave him the finger, the fucking romeo wannabe in the swallowtail coat deserved it. I sat up rubbing my sore head… and my sore ass. The faggot. That was at lease three feet he dropped me from! Bastard in a suit! I stood up and crossed my arms trying to get across how fucking pissed I was "Just tell me why the fuck you kidnapped me already." "We will tell you if you calm down." Arrogant bastard but I do want to know why I'm here so… I hate swallowing my pride… "Fine."


	2. HELP ME READERS!

**HELP ME READERS! I have been agonizing over this ever since I got the idea of this story. I have no idea when to make this story take place! I was thinking about weather to make it during season one, season two, or after season two ends. My reasoning is below.**

**Season one- there are a lot of crack moments in here and I would be fun to write. But if you're looking for a more serious plot then maybe go with season two or after season two. This story would be pretty easy to write if it took place here but I like and welcome a challenge. (That and I know that Lydia would love seeing Ciel in a dress! He would never hear the end of it!)**

**Season two- I think Alois and Claude would make this interesting! I think the whole twisted plot thing would make it serious and interesting. I like the whole thing and the fact that Ciel becomes a demon at the end would add to the story.**

**After season two: I think that having Ciel as a demon would twist the end a bit. Like when it is time who is going to get Lydia's soul? Ciel or Sebastian? I think that is te primary reason I'm adding this to the list.**

**All three!- This would make the story so much longer and it would add in all three of the good and bad parts of every season (or after season). So that is why I'm also including the option to choose this.**

_**THERE WILL BE A POLL ON MY PROFILE! VOTE IN IT IF YOU HAVE AN ACCOUNT! If you don't leave a guest review but I NEED your opinion if you want me to continue this story! So please don't forget to leave a review or vote in my poll! **_


	3. Poll results

**GUESS WHAT GUYS AND GALS! Guess whaaaaaaaat! The results of the poll are in! And guess what! WE HAVE A WINNERRRRRRRR! So the results aaare *Cue drum roll of awesome-ness* ALL THREEEEEE! So you guys get an extra long story! I hope that everyone voteeeed! I will be posting the real chapter two very soon! I'll probably have it up today if I'm lucky! For those of you who are completely confuzzled and crap I opened a poll about two to three weeks ago asking when the story should take place. I hope that you enjoy the soon-to-come chapter two! (Technically it's chapter four but chapter two of the actual story)**


	4. That girl, hates them

**Hello again readers! I really hope that you enjoyed the last chapter, or at least the one that was actually part of the story. Did everyone leave a review or vote in my poll? I hope you did! So. ON WITH THE STORY! **

This. Is. Bullshit. "So what you're saying is that you kidnapped me because my soul is like freakin' demon powerade?" "Yes that seems to be the case." The boy who introduced himself as Ciel said to me. "Ok that seems believable." "I figured you would be angry." "Oh yea it's totally- ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU RETARDED MIDGET PIRATE!" I screamed while I flipped the 10-foot long table… I can do that? AWESOME! I totally feel like Ichigo now! Back to the conversation I was having with the pirate boy. "I am **not** staying here! Screw you guys I'm going home!" I said while I walked towards the door. But unfortunately 'Mr. Back in Black' just _had_ to block my way. "I'm afraid we cannot let you do that Miss Carlton." I hate this. "Will you bastards stop calling me _Miss Carlton_? It creeps me the hell out, just call me Lydia." I crossed my arms in irritation and annoyance. I really hate this situation.

"Ok. So my soul is a fucking power booster for demons, why does that mean you have to kidnap me?" This is so retarded. "If we hadn't another demon would have tried to take your soul. You should be thanking us." If that was an indirect way of saying I'm weak I'm going to murder a freaking puppy. "Uh in case you haven't noticed I held my own against Mr. Back in black over there." I said jabbing a thumb in his direction. "You mean Sebastian? I ordered him not to harm you so he did not." I scowled at him "Being too cocky will only help me beat your face easier." I tried to leave again but the fucking butler wannabe, Sebastian, blocked my way again. I tried to kick him in the frickin' face but he grabbed my leg, FUCK HIM! He let go of my leg and I dropped awkwardly to the floor. I am going to kill these bastards in their sleep, with a spoon. Yes I said a spoon. "So for the time being you are going to stay here in the Phantomhive manor. Do you understand Miss Carlton?" The butler guy said to me. I wanted to give him the fucking finger and shove it up his fat ass, "Ok, one stop calling me Miss Carlton!" I snarled "And two, I'm not fucking staying here damn it! I'm going the fuck home and there is _nothing _you fucktards can do about it." About right here is where I actually **did** give him the finger, I just didn't shove it up his ass but fuck I wanted to so damn badly, either that or poke his eyeball out of his retarded head. The midget pirate looked at me like I was a two fucking headed cow. "This will be your room until we have one more suited to your needs." He gestured to the entire room. I pretty much fainted about here from a mixture of pissed-offey-ness and total shock. Fuck my fucking fucked up life. I hope I get damned to hell when this all over. I don't believe in all this 'demon' or 'demon powerade' bullshit… Wow I talk a lot for a person who's supposed fainting.

~*~*~*~*~X~*~*~*~*~

When I woke up again the first thing I noticed was I was wearing one of those fucking nightgowns that made me feel like my old dead grandma, FUCK! Where the fucking hell did they put my jeans and my Bleach mini-tee that had a picture of Hitsugaya on it? Imma find a pimp cane so I can smack a bitch and run from said bitch. I tried to find my clothing but all I found where… h'oshit… MAID DRESSES! NO WAY IN HELL AM I EVER GONNA WEAR A FREAKIN' SKIRT DAMNIT! I am never coming out of this room, EVER! I'll steal food from the kitchen when I get hungry, there is a bathroom nearby, and I'll get water from the faucet. Problem solved! Now. How the fuck am I supposed to get back to my own fucking house. I bet Clara is having a freak out and is cursing her obsession for kidnapping me. My parents are probably wondering where the fuck I am and my teachers are probably going to chew me out for missing school without a fucking absent note. MAN! I'm probably gonna have a crap load of homework when I get back! FUCK! If I get back that is.

I flopped back onto the bed. The only good thing about getting kidnapped by a rich kid and his butler is that the beds are super soft and puffy. I just sounded like a cliché mary sue didn't I? OH MY GOD I'M TURNING INTO ORIHIME! I curled up into the blankets trying to fall asleep. Oh… Look… The midget pirate and the butler wannabe are back. I had by back turned but I knew it was them because they told me they where the only ones who knew I was here. I personally thought that was bull shit and that is was a stupid excuse so I wouldn't go outside. I pretended to be asleep and I think I fooled them. Then I felt the covers yanked off of me and was hit by a sudden chill. I sat up and screamed "WHAT THE HELL YOU BASTARDS!" I grabbed the covers from the hands of the butler dude and pulled it over myself. Damn! Why the hell is this place so fucking cold?! Last time I checked it was midsummer. I flopped onto the bad again and tried to sleep again. "I'm afraid that you cannot do that Miss Lydia. You see you have to do your fair share of work as well." Said the butler wannabe. I pointed angrily at the closet that was pushed into the corner of the small room "There is NO WAY IN HEAVEN OR HELL that you will ever get me to wear a SKIRT! Got it you fucking bastard!? If I'm going to work here then I at least want to wear pants damn it! Skirts are too hard to move around in! Got it you fucking butler wannabe and midget pirate?!" "Please use our proper names 'Butler wannabe' and 'midget pirate' seems too vulgar." The butler wannabe said. "What are your goddamn names then?" I growled. "I am Sebastian Michaelis. And he is Earl Ciel Phantomhive." he responded with his 'holier-than-thou' act. I hate people like that. "Ok, _Sebastian. _I refuse to work until I get proper work clothing." I crossed my arms. The condescending bastard just smirked at me. I wanted to slap that smirk off his fucking face. "You still have to work Lydia and until we can get the proper attire for you, you must wear the skirt." I stared at him and at that moment three things crossed my mind. 1) I am SHORT! I mean, FUCK! I have to look up to talk to this guy! 2) How the fuck did I go from 21st century America to 19th century Europe?! 3) I really want some bacon… WHAT I LIKE BACON! And I didn't eat anything since that bag of chips Clara and I shared so I'm fucking hungry damn it. "Fine I'll wear the skirt but I swear that if I don't get at least ten good pairs of pants I'm going to murder a fucking puppy." The butler wann- I mean _Sebastian_ looked at me funny when I said this. "Well don't just stand there! Get out! You expect me to change in front of **you?!**" I hissed.

They left the room and I pulled on the dress. I drew the line with the bonnet thought 'cuz that's just retarded. God, the dress looked like someone tossed a bunch of fucking lace and frills and all that shit in a blender, pressed blend, and then just pasted it on me with frosting. I looked like a fucking retard. I did like the boots that came with it though 'cuz I trip… a lot… therefore I need sturdy shoes. Plus heels make me look like one of those preppy bitches you see in glee and all that shit. I walked out trying to be all ninja-y and stuff, or maybe secret agent-y. I donno I'll work on it. Anyways back to the subject at hand. I turned a corner and hoped to find the kitchen but Whoopde-fucking-doo it's **Seb-ass-tian, **the dude acts like he's got a twelve-foot pole stuck up his ass, lighten up tightwad. He had his back to me so I hoped to sneak past without being caught but "Ah, Lydia perfect timing," Yea perfect, "The young master has sent me out on an errand and I won't be able to attend to his mid-day tea. Therefore you will prepare the pastry and tea for him." He led me to the kitchen and introduced me to the other three servants, Bardroy or Bard, Finnian or Finny, and Mey-rin. I shooed them out of the kitchen so I could work, I may be a total bitch but I make good pastries. I looked around the cupboard, DAMN if only I wasn't so short I could reach that flour! I tiptoed and managed to snag the flour and pull it down without any trouble, pretty much the same procedure went on for all of the other shit, reach for item, get fed up if not reachable, then snag it then pull it down. I really hate this. I mixed in a bunch of stuff in a bowl and decided to make cream puffs. It took about two hours but I made enough for everyone in the manor…. What? Where you expecting me to explain everything step-by-step? Yea riiiiight. I put the crème puffs on the first clean plate I found. I wonder why some people spell cream like crème? It looks so weird when it' spelled like that! And what the fuck is that little thing over the e, its like è! What the hell? I'm getting off topic again, FUCK! So anyways, even though I make awesome pastries I cant make tea worth a crap! What am I gonna dooooooo!.. Why am I freaking out about that midget pi- I mean _Earl Phantomhive's_ goddamn teatime? _ I. Hate. His. Guts._

I grabbed the teapot and a bunch of other tea making crap and attempted to make the first tea I grabbed off the shelf, DAMN THESE PEOPLE HAVE a lot OF TEA! What kinda tea does this damn kid even like? I'll just go with earl grey. I did all the shit I was supposed to and poured it in the pot, I think I did pretty well but Clara is better than I am. She can make tea like she was fucking **born **to do it. If she were here she would have either passed out from fangirlisim or freak out! I am getting off topic AGAIN! I poured the tea into a teacup then I put the crème (funny spelling again) puffs onto the tray. I picked up the tray and walked out of the kitchen. Now… Where is his damn office again? FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUC K! I wandered around for a while until I noticed… I think his name was Finny? I walked up to him and asked, "Do you know where Ciel's study is?" He looked at me and gasped. "You must address him as the young master! Or else Mister Sebastian will get angry." "Alright, do you know where the _young master's_ study is?" I really wanted to swear but I wanted to make a good impression for some reason. That and he hadn't kidnapped me so I had no reason to be a bitch. "Yes! His study is just down the hall, then make a right turn. His study is the room three doors down on the right." Finny said. "Thank you." I followed his directions and walked in without knocking. "Knock next time." Was the first thing that bastard said to me when I walked in. "Well! You're _**welcome **_you fucking bastard. Here is your damn tea. I hope you frickin' choke on it." He looked at it and waved me out of the room.

I walked out totally in a pissed off mood. I found my way back to the kitchen (somehow) and found Bard, Finny, and Mey-rin eating my leftover crème puffs. They looked at me and I suddenly found them crying and saying sorry. "I-it's ok! I made enough for everyone so help yourselves." They sighed with relief and I started making dessert. There was quite a lot left on the tray. I grabbed all the stuff I needed and made Baked Alaska this time. I finished the cake with no problems at all but it was the frosting was the hardest part. Oh my god it took FOREVER! I really hate that it takes forever to do the frosting! Ok. Just. A. Bit. More. Frosting. "DONE!" I screamed… Then I slipped in a bit of spilled frosting. "AAAAAAAAUH" I screamed as I slipped. I suddenly found myself in someone's arms. I looked up and saw… "SEBASTIAN!" I screamed for the second time. I jumped out of his arms and ran to the corner of the kitchen. "W-w-when did you get back?!" He chuckled, "I returned about five minutes ago." He looked at the Baked Alaska that I just finished, "You seem to know how to make good pastries." I looked at him like a two headed fucking cow. Did this bastard just compliment me? "Thanks, I guess." I said rubbing the back of my neck. "It seems that you have already given the young master his tea time pastry. So why are you making a cake?" I looked at him and snarled "If you think that I'm giving you a slice they you've got another thing coming." I hissed grabbing the cake and stuffing it in the icebox. I kicked it closed and whirled around to face Sebastian. "So, how did you know that I was in the kitchen and falling onto my butt?" I asked, "You did scream pretty loudly." He smirked at me… I just realized this but his smirk looks like my school pedophile's rape face, or maybe Gin's. I hissed angrily at him. I suddenly had a stroke of brilliance and… I grabbed the tray of leftover crème puffs and smashed it into Sebastian's face. I smeared it around angrily and dropped the tray. The loud clattering sound echoes around the kitchen until it faded away. I ran out of the kitchen and wandered around the mansion for a while and finally found the room I was staying in. I locked the door, flopped onto the bed, and fell asleep as soon as I hit the sheets.

**I hope you enjoyed chapter 2 of IMBDR. Please leave a review or Lydia will throw a crème (Lydia: STOP SPELLING IT FUNNY!) puff at you! If you review I will start throwing plushies, t-shirts, and other awesome junk everywhere! Special thanks to Japan-chan for inspiration and support while I wrote this chapter!**


	5. That girl, amazing

**Hey guys! I just finished this chapter and its five in the fucking morning. I made it though! So anyways, I hope you guys like the new chapter of IMBDR! Oh and there will be less swearing in this chapter.**

"Whaaaaaat! Mey-riiiiiin. It's too earlyyyyyy." I whined "But miss Lydia! We maids need to be up by six o'clock sharp yes!" the four-eyed ditz wailed. "So?" I moaned from my bed. "IT'S ALREADY SIX TEN YES IT IS!" "Five more minuteeeeeeees." I wailed "BUT MASTER CIEL AND MISTER SEBASTIAN WILL BE ANGRY YES!" I got up and pushed her out of the room. I locked the door and fell asleep again. BAM BAM BAM! I threw a pillow at the door and screamed "CAN'T I GET A FUCKING 9 HOURS OF SLEEP!" I got up and opened the door. "What the fuck do you want Sebastian! You damn strawberry poptart." I screeched. "It's been about three hours since I sent Mey-rin to you wake up an-" I slammed the door in his face, locked it, and flopped down on the bed again. Suddenly the door opened and Sebastian was standing there with the aura of scary-ness "Ok! Ok! I give up I'll get ready! You didn't have to break the fucking door you poptart!" I screeched. "NOW GET OUT SO I CAN CHANGE DAMNIT!" I grabbed one of my (Ugh) dresses and walked into the bathroom to get dressed.

I walked back out and up the stairs… "GOD DAMN IT! WHERE IS THE FRICKIN' KITCHEN!" I cried. I turned left… I'm right back where I started. Ok, turn left here and then… "YES I FOUND THE KITCHEN! VICTORY IS MINE BIOTCHES!" I laughed. I ran into the cupboards and grabbed all the shit I needed to make a first class breakfast. I don't wanna explain all the shit I did… You want to know? WELL TOO BAD! Imma skip about one hour, that should do it right!? I had just finished making it and I was sitting down to eat when _someone _interrupted me "It seems you know how to make a good meal." Guess who? Seb-ass-tian of course! "whats it too you?" was what I wanted to say, but since I was eating it came out more like "whaff iff foo fou?" It seems stupid but I actually prepared an omelette just so I could throw it at him. And that is exactly what I did. "Damn! Why can't I hit you, you bastard!" he smirked that retarded smirk of his. "Miss Lydia, the young master wants to see you in his study." "What to the ever. Just get the fuck out so I can eat fool." I walked up to the study and opened the door "sup' Ciel! What did 'ja need to see me for?" Ciel glared at me. "Lydia! Don't just barge in like that. What if I had been doing something important?" I looked at him blankly "So you masturbate at the age of twelve?" He spluttered as I laughed my ass off. "So why da fuck am I here? I'm busy biotch." He glared at me as I smirked "I have the four bags you where carrying when you arrived here. Do you want them back?" I squealed. "YES! GIVE ME THEM NOW!" He gestured to the bags in the corner and I grabbed them happily. "You're welcome." He smirked. I ran out of the room yelling, "THANKS MIDGET!" he yelled. "YOU'RE SHORTER AT ME!" Ciel yelled back.

I somehow ended up in an empty room. I looked at one of the cases in my hand. I drew the violin from its case and placed it under my chin, I began to play Fur Elise by Beethoven. I sighed, "It feels good to play it again." I placed it back in its case… WHAT! I play violin in the school orcestra. I also do fencing, tennis, and karate. I hope neither of those faggots find out I do something as girly as playing an instrument. I walked back into the hallway and hurried to my room. I looked at the other three cases. One had my three tennis racquets in it, one had my fencing foils in it, and the last one had my karate uniform in it… now that I think of it why was I carrying those with me just to go to the bookstore? Oh riiiiight I had my lessons after. I feel so retarded now. I blame Ciel and Sebastian. I'm going to do some fencing to let out some anger. I do have that kuroshitsuji printout that Clara gave me so I'll tape that to a pillow and use that as a target! Genius! I tied the pillow to the ceiling beams and grabbed my favorite foil. I finished about 20 minutes later and the picture was so full of holes I couldn't even see their retarded faces anymore. I tore down the pillow and threw it into the corner. I walked out of the room and into the kitchen… again. WHAT I'M FUCKING HUNGERY DAMN IT! I just want a sandwich. So anyways I just finished eating my sandwich when I walked into the garden to find Finny.

"FIIIIIIIIINNYYYYYY! Are you here?" I yelled. "Hiya Lydia! What do you need?" he smiled happily "Hi Finny! I don't need anything. I'm just bored. Can I help you out in the garden?" I smiled back. "Ok Lydia! I'd be glad to have your help." We walked into the garden together and I pointed at the roses. "Why are so many of them wilted?" I walked to the bushes and stared at the roses "They all look fucked up." Finny looked at me sadly "I accidentally sprayed herbicide all over them!" he wailed. I smiled at him "We can fix this. Don't worry." I walked around and looked at the few remaining roses. "There's not much we can do but we can try." I said sadly to Finny. Finny wailed louder and I tried to calm him down quickly. "Shhhhh. Calm down Finny. We can fix this." It took about two hours to fix the garden but we did it. "It looks amazing!" Finny squealed. "It almost looks better than when mister Sebastian does it!" ugh, why did he have to ruin the moment by talking about Sebastian, that retard (Sebastian not Finny). "Did I hear my name?" Ah. Speak of the fucking devil and the fucking devil shall appear. "Go away." I snapped. I stomped back into the manor and into Ciel's office "Hiya Ciel!" I smiled. "What do you need Lydia?" He asked without looking up from his papers. I walked over to his desk and pulled a chair over to it so I was sitting next to him. "Nothing, I'm just bored." I said flatly. He looked at me and went back to his work. Suddenly Sebastian barged in… "Hey! How come Sebastian gets to barge in but I have to knock!" I asked. Ciel ignored me, and Sebastian placed a tray on his desk. "Ooh! Chocolate cake! Can I have a slice?" I asked. "Naughty girls like you don't deserve cake." Sebastian smirked. "Screw you." I hissed. I ran to the kitchen, I completely forgot about that Baked Alaska I made last night. I sliced a piece of cake and put it on the first plate I grabbed. I don't wanna brag but I'm an AWESOME cake maker! I saved two slices of the cake, one for Ciel and one for Finny. I grabbed the two plates and ran out of the kitchen "Fiiiiiinyyyyyyy!" I called. He ran up to me happily and I handed him the slice I cut for him, "Here! I saved you some of the cake I made last night." I smiled. "Thanks so much Lydia!" He smiled that cute little smile of his. I handed him a fork and he eagerly gobbled down his slice. "I'm so glad you like it Finny! I have to give this other slice to Ciel." I gestured to the other slice of cake in my hand. "Ok! Thanks for the cake!" Finny called. I walked to Ciel's study. Now don't get me wrong, I don't really like him all that much but at least he isn't the one who wants to eat my 'demon powerade' soul. I (finally) found his fucking study and knocked, "Come in." he called. I walked inside, "Do ya want some cake I made?" I asked. He looked up at the plate I held, "What kind of cake is that?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "Do you want to find out or can I eat it? I worked hard on this." I asked copying his look. He set aside his work and patted the chair I had placed by his desk. I smiled and sat down, handing him the cake. He ate the slice and gave a small smile "Thank you Lydia. You are very talented in baking." I smiled back "Thank you for the compliment. Gotta go!" I stood up and walked to the door, "Bye midget piiiiiraaaate!" I sang as I ran to my room.

Oh and before I fall asleep I just gotta say this: if anyone had told me I was gonna meet an Indian prince and a white haired dude with a freakish right hand, I would call them a fucking strawberry poptart or maybe a goddamn retarded faggot. So yea. I gotta go to bed now. NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Hope you liked it! NOW REVIEW OR SEBASTIAN WILL THROW A SILVER KNIFE AT YOUR FACE! Lydia and Shiro are OUT!


	6. That girl, athletic

**I'm so sorry the updates have been so slow but I've been really busy with school and shit. Plus watching the episode while typing is hard~ If you are wondering why I'm starting in the middle of season one it's because (1) I want to get to season 2 quick, cuz that's where the action will start :3 (2) I feel like the important stuff happens after they meet Soma. I hope you don't mind but I really wanna get to season 2 fast. Please bear with me ^.^". Hope you have a happy holiday~ Oh! And I changed my screen name from Shiromaru-chan to FatLittleChibi! BEGIN STOREAH!**

"Ciel. Ciel. Ciel. Ciel. Ciel. Ciel. Ciiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeellll llllllllllllll!" I whined poking his cheek. He smacked my hand away (that hurt bastard) and screamed, "WHAT DO YOU WANT LYDIA!" "Where the hell are we going!?" I asked angrily. "I already told you when we left!" he yelled. "Telling me to get in a fucking carriage and then ordering Sebastian to throw me in it when I said I didn't wanna go doesn't count as an explanation retard!" I yelled back. Ciel sighed, "There have been reports about English men who have returned from India being hung from roofs, I'll explain more later." The carriage stopped and we stepped out. Sebastian was driving the carriage (of fucking course he was) so he opened the door for Ciel and me. There was a crowd gathered around a building. We pushed through the crowd and saw two people standing in the front. One looked like an old faggot and one looked like a young man… maybe a faggot or future pedo-bear. I could hear bits of their conversation, "You still can't catch the culprit! Abberline!" yelled the old faggot. "I-I apologize, Sir Authur." the younger one said. "We couldn't catch Jack the ripper (I have no idea who the fuck that is so don't ask me, ask midget pirate or demon face) so that brat got all the credit!" "Brat? Do you mean Ciel Phantomhive." This was when Ciel decided to go all ninja and sneak up on 'Abberline'. "So all the victims had just come home from India, then?" "C-Ciel!" Abberline stammered. If that retarded detective thinks that he can mess with Ciel he's got another thing coming. "No one seems to have died yet. "The child of lazyness and crazyness." Our culprit has quite the way with words. Still, this mark…" Ciel trailed off. "He's mocking the queen and all Englishmen! He must be Indian!" My turn to go all ninja now, "It looks like a retarded tongue!" Ciel glared at me then continued, "They must be Indians holing up in the criminal neighborhoods of the east end. Let's go, Sebastian, Lydia." They walked away "HEY! I'M NOT A FUCKING DOG!" I screamed as I ran after them.

~~~~~*XxX*~~~~~

"Whoooooooah! This place looks like crap!" I said laughing. Ciel and Sebastian ignored me "I believe the Indians use this area as their base." Sebastian said. Suddenly Ciel bumped into an Indian because he wasn't watching where he was fucking going, the retard. "Owww! I think I cracked a rib. Crap, I'm gonna die!" His friends or whatever came over and started saying retarded crap like "Are you ok?!" and "He needs to compensate for that!" "SHUT UP YOU FUCKING INDIAN RETARDS! He just bumped into him! You're not gonna die you fucktards so calm your asses down!" I screeched angrily "What was that?!" yelled the Indian, he grabbed my with his gross hand and lifted me off of my feet. Sebastian flicked him in the forehead and I fell to the floor… why do I get the feeling that I'm going to owe him after this is over? Anyways, he got back up and started yelling a bunch of crap about how they hate British people and how the British people 'trampled dirt and filth over their homelands'. He raised the knife and right before I yelled "YOU CUT ME WITH THAT AND I WILL SMACK YOU WITH A VIOLIN!" we where interrupted my a random dude dressed in fancy clothing asking if we had seen an Indian woman. The retarded pair that just came in (fina-fucking-lly) noticed us "They have a khansama (whatever the fuck that means) with them. Are you English nobles?" The one with purple hair asked…. I just noticed how freaking sucky his picture is. "So what if I am?" Ciel retorted. "Actually I'm not really a-" I began, but that bastard cut "Then I will side with my countrymen. Agni." I'm just gonna assume that the white haired dude is Agni. He unwrapped the bandages around his right hand and said a bunch of crap about how he will "Use his hand for his master." Then a whole bunch of fighting happened and then after Ciel talked some sense into their retarded brains they sided with us and the whole clusterfuck (and by he way that is not a candy bar) ended. They left soon after… "Ok… CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!" I yelled. "Nothing, let's go back to the town house." Ciel sighed.

~~~~~*XxX*~~~~~

"Dia… Lydia wake up." Is someone calling me? I don't wanna get up. "Lydia wake up already, yes." I sat up and rubbed my eyes… how the hell did I get in my room, last time I checked I was in the east end of London?... "Oh, hi Mey-Rin. Let me guess it's either almost six or past six." I yawned. "No. It's just that you have been asleep for almost a full day and the young master was worried, yes he was." Him, worried? Ch'yeah _right!_ That faggot doesn't give a shit about me. "We have visitors Lydia! They're from India!" I rubbed my eyes, "Me no gives two shitz. Me wanna sleeps. Go aways mey-rin." I whined, flopping into my bed again. "O-ok but the young master will get angry, yes." I waved her out of the room… Fuck… I can't go back to sleep. I got up and opened the closet, YES! NO MORE SKIRTS! I pulled on a pair of black pants. My dark blue puffy maid blouse/shirt whatever was also changed… into the same top as Sebastian's… HO'SHIT! I put it on anyways but I left off the topcoat so I was just wearing the white shirt and the black vest… not too shabby~

I walked upstairs and noticed a bunch of yelling from one of the rooms. I peeked inside… and almost fell down laughing. Ciel was wearing a outfit similar to the one I wear when I take fencing lessons and there was this purple haired Indian dude sitting on the floor who seemed to be annoying the crap out of him. I tried to get past without being noticed but I guess my retarded giggles gave me away, CRAP CAKES! "Lydia, come inside." Ciel called… "GOD DAMN IT CIEL! I'M NOT YOUR FREAKIN' DOG!" I yelled… but I walked in anyways, AND I DID IT LIKE A BOSS! I looked at the two Indians sitting on the ground. One had purple hair and was wearing fucking rich clothes and the other had white hair and was smiling happily like a retard. The purple haired dude seemed to be the superior of said pair of weirdness. I was still pissed so I walked up to Ciel, "What the hell is with my clothes! I'm fucking dressed like Sebastian damn it! What the freakin' hell?!" All he did was smirk… I want to slap that smirk off of his god damn face! "You asked for me to provide you with work pants. Unfortunately I did not think the frills and ruffles suited you so I provided those clothes." He said. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUCK YOU FAGGOOOOOOOT!" I screeched angrily. I was right about to run out of the room but Ciel stopped me. "Now that you are here you can entertain… THAT." He hissed, jabbing a thumb in the direction of the Indian dude. "Why?" I asked. "He is so irritating! I can't concentrate on my lessons with him around." I looked closer at his clothing… "You fence?" I asked. "Yes. Is there a problem?" He smirked (AGAIN!) "Nothing, nothing midget pirate." "But you are SHORTER THAN ME!" he yelled… Ciel is annoyed, mission a-fucking-ccomplished! I watched for a little while… The whole time Soma was saying, "What are you doing? Hey, I say!" Ignore. Resist. Urge. To. Hit. HIM! "Be quiet, you're distracting me!" Ciel said angrily. "You're so short-tempered." Soma whined. "Yes, yes he is~" I said. Finally someone agrees with me! "Fine! If you want entertainment so badly then I'll oblige!" Ciel yelled, tossing Soma the foil Sebastian had been using. Soma laughed like a mofo and grabbed the foil. "So if I win you have to go into town with me!" Soma laughed. Ciel frowned and pointed the foil at Soma, "If you can win that is."

**CLIFFY! Sorry but I need to keep you guys hanging right~ Please don't hate me for it! Lydia and Chibi-chan want your reviews for Christmas~ make it my present! I LOVE YOU ALL! Chibi-chan and Lyds are OUT! BYE READAHS!**


	7. That girl, sings

**Yaaaaaaaaay! Chapter… 5 I think? Pffffffffft. I hope you enjoy this chapter. WARNING! This is a FILLER CHAPPIE! So don't bug me 'bout it! BEGIN THE FUDGING STORIEAH!**

"I wish you luck." Said Agni while he poured tea into a cup. "And… Start!" Sebastian said like a retarded butler-ref person. Soma ran towards Ciel and yelled, "You're mine!" He's swinging the foil at Ciel's foot… that's wrong… retard… "Hitting someone's legs with the foil has no effect." Ciel smirked. At least he knows how to use the foil correctly. "N-no fair! I don't know the rules." Soma whined like a fuckin' 2 year-old. "A fight is a fight, its you fault for not knowing the rules!" Ciel said. RIGHT before he landed a hit on Soma, Agni yelled, "YOUR HIGHNESS WATCH OUT!" and (FREAKING CHEATER) caught the end of Ciel's foil in the cup (Was that the same cup he was pouring tea into a few minutes ago?!) and jabbed his fingers into Ciel's arm… and then Ciel dropped the foil and fell to the floor like a mofo.

Agni dropped down to kneel by Ciel, "Lord Ciel! I'm so sorry, when I saw the prince losing…. My body moved on its own!" Agni said "Foul! Interference! Or SOMETHING!" I yelled angrily. That's like cheating basically! Soma (RETARD!) just laughed like a mofo. "Good Job Agni, I commend you! Agni is my Khansama (WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?!) therefore I win this match!" I was about to say something but I think the guy who's name is Lau beat me to it. "My, my. Butler, it looks like you'll have to avenge your master. For goodness sakes." He said, tossing the foil to Sebastian. Sebastian sighed, (As usual…) "This is what you get for provoking a novice who doesn't know the rules." Ciel glared at him, "What was that?!" Sebastian interrupted him. "However, as the Phantomhive butler, I cannot remain silent when someone harms my master. Also we are ten minutes off schedule." "Pfffft, that's your reason Sebastian? You retarded idiot." I laughed. So aaaaaaaaanyways, I don't feel like describing all the shit that happened so we'll just skip around a bit shall we? You want me to describe it? WELL TOO BAD! The whole match ended in a draw and the foils broke… I can't believe Agni tied against demon-face over there… AWESOME~

~~~~~*XxX*~~~~~

I got bored and wandered down to the kitchen after the whole clusterfuck (still not a candy bar) to make myself a sammich…. And nearly passed out after what I saw… Bard wasn't blowing shit up, Finny wasn't breaking the fancy-schmancy plates, and Mey-rin hadn't ruined anything… "PINCH ME I'M DREAMING IN A DREAM!" I yelled…. Oh damn it! I should NOT have yelled that out loud… I'm such a fucking retard. Aaaaanywaaaays, Bard was cutting carrots, Finny was mashing potatos, and I have no idea what mey-rin is doing because her back is towards me. I was right about to leave when, guess who walked in? If you said Sebastian (Ding-a-fucking-ling) you where correct! "How is it coming along, Agni?" Sebastian asked. "Thanks to everyone's help I'm sure it will be delicious." He said smiling (man! Does this dude EVER stop grinning like a doofus?!) Sebastian's reaction to seeing everyone being useful for once was so funny I thanked the gods I had my phone to take a picture. Ha. See what I did there? Gods?... You suck. I decided that since I couldn't sneak out any food with Sebastian in the room I left to go annoy, I mean keep Ciel company… and probably get lost trying to find him.

~~~~~*xXx*~~~~~

"Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck… It's offical… I'M GOD DAMN LOST!" I hissed. I'm just going to see if they have another kitchen, with this big-ass mansion they HAVE to have at least two kitchens right? If they don't imma slap a hoe. I walked… and walked… and walked…and walked …and walked… I really don't want to admit it but, GOD DAMN IT I AM FUCKING LOST! I finally found the spare kitchen and made myself some lunch. I didn't really know what to make so I just grabbed some shit and started making the first thing that came to mind. I fished my IPod out of my pocket, found one of my favorite songs, and I started singing along to the music.

"**Here I stand, helpless and left for dead.**

**Close your eyes, so many days go by.**

**Easy to find what's wrong, harder to find what's right.**

**I believe in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies.**

**I won't stay long, in this world so wrong.**

_**Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight.**_

_**Don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight?**_

**Trembling, crawling across my skin.**

**Feeling your cold dead eyes, stealing the life of mine.**

**I believe in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies.**

**I won't last long, in this world so wrong.**

_**Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight.**_

_**Don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight?**_

**Hold on. Hold on.**

_**Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight.**_

_**Don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight?**_

**Hold on. Hold on.**

**Goodbye."**

I hardly noticed but I swayed my hips to the music I blasted out of my iPod. I made pasta and covered it with cheese, a bit of salt, and parsley. It was pretty simple, but yummy. I really hope no one heard me singing that because I would die if they ever heard my fucking horrible voice. It fits my situation I mean; _**I won't stay long, in this world so wrong. Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight. Don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight?**_ Doesn't that sound like my situation in a nutshell? I love that song so much though cuz it's so EPIC! If you don't already know or haven't figured it out the song is called "Dance With The Devil"… DUH! I'm waaaaaaay too lazy to wash my own dishes so I'm just gonna assume Sebastian will take care of it eventually, right? So I'm just going to go to my room and read those cheesy romance novels Mey-rin gave me. Bai~

**I hope you enjoyed this chappie! pwease review!**** ME WANT YOU TO REVIEWWWWWWWW! Bless your face, if you sneezed on your computer while reading this bless you~ (Credit to Tobuscus for this) Peace off, WHOOP! (Still Tobuscus)**


	8. Author's Note

I apologize to my readers… but I will not be continuing _**I Must Be Dreaming Right. **_I looked around and noticed just how overused this plot is. Person/group gets sucked into an anime, falls in love, blah blah blah. But don't worry. Lydia will be back and this story will be too. I'M SO SO SO SO SO SORRY! This story is just horrible. It's junk.

Sincerely,

Chibi-Chan


	9. Chibi-chan is back!

Guess what you guuuuuuuuyyys? I'M CONTINUING IMBDR! Thanks to all you lovelies who said the story isn't trash! I'd like to address a few things too.

Review Replies-

A Perfect Devil: I apologize for offending you. I did mean to make her 4'2 but I guess I accidentally wrote 5'2. It was a misprint that had gone unnoticed until you pointed it out so thank you. However I do not appreciate the fact that you insulted me and I kindly ask of you to stop.

Mahou Shoujo Grell: Like I said above the 5'2 thing is a misprint. But I like my writing style and if it's incorrect so be it. Also I'd like to say that I'm the respectful age of 16 and that I made this story seem like it WAS written by someone of that age. Also my little sister helped me with this story so that is also a contributing factor for it's childish tone.

So I'll start working on the next chapter soon guys!

~FatLittleChibi


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